HEART FELT
by DarcTangent
Summary: Tony decides it's time to fulfill bucket list item #26. Takes place after "You Better Watch Out".
1. The note

I do not own NCIS or the characters.

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**Ziva received the emergency call just as she was leaving her apartment. Leave it to Tony to forget his digital camera in his desk on Christmas Eve. He was on the other side of town, so could she please stop by the office to pick it up on her way to dinner at Gibb's house? (sigh) She was mumbling to herself darkly in Hebrew as she entered the NCIS headquarters, so the few people on duty stayed safely out of her way. As she exited the elevator, headed for DiNozzo's desk, she couldn't help but notice the stunning bouquet of flowers on her desk. They hadn't been there when she had left earlier today and it was odd for a delivery to show up after hours like this...especially on Christmas Eve. The camera forgotten for the moment, she drifted over to her desk and spied the card nestled among the stems. Reaching in to pull the card out she became aware of the fragrance and leaned in closer to appreciate it. Then she opened the card and started to read:**

_** For years you have held half of my heart, as a partner and a friend. When you pushed me away and stayed in Israel after I tried  
to protect you, it hurt. I thought things would get better with time – that you would come around. The day Gibbs told us the ship  
you were on went down with no survivors, I realized just how much of my heart you truly owned. Life lost meaning. When I came  
up with the plan to track down and stop Saleem, I no longer cared if I died in the process...as long as taking him out meant some-  
one else didn't lose someone they cared about. Seeing you alive jump-started the part of my heart that had died as surely as  
lightning animated Frankenstein's monster (Okay, that's one I haven't shown you yet...we'll get there). Under truth serum, I con-  
fessed that I couldn't live without you and I would've said more if you had asked. Our friendship has grown stronger since that  
time, but I still had not found the courage to tell you how I truly feel. Recently, after the time we spent in that elevator, I told you  
I feel like I left half my brain back there. Only for the last few days have I realized, what I left was half of my heart. The half you  
did not already own.**_

**About halfway through, Ziva was already having trouble reading as she fought the tears that were threatening to fall. Now, with the last sentences, she lost the battle. But they were tears shared with a smile full of warmth and joy as she reached the last sentence.**

_** So, now I only have one more thing to say and one question for you...**_

**"Ziva David."**

**Ziva let out a small gasp. In the old days, he would never have been able to sneak up on her so easily. She turned to stare into the muzzle of a silencer, held by Mossad Officer Amit Hadar.**

_**PHFFT!** _**(Picture goes gray)**

First attempt. Reviews Appreciated.


	2. 1 Hour Earlier

**1 Hour Earlier**

**Tony finished writing the note, carefully stuffed it into the envelope that had come with it, and slipped it into the bouquet on Ziva's desk. He walked over to his own desk and opened the drawer to be sure his camera was there. Everything was set. He walked quickly to the elevator and pressed the button. He entered the elevator and pressed the button to go down. Just before the doors totally closed, he shoved his arm between them and they re-opened. Walking back to Ziva's desk, he snatched the envelope from between the flowers, pulled out the note, and crumpled it into a small ball. He tossed it across the walkway into his trash can (not really registering the perfect shot) and it landed on top of a small pile of previous attempts. He walked back over to his desk and pulled another card from a different drawer and sat down to write.**

**"Last time." He quietly mumbled to himself. As he finished, he looked at his watch. He needed to call her before she left for Gibbs or this whole plan would be moot. It had taken him so long to man up...not only to admit to himself the feelings he had for Ziva, but to take a step he was uncomfortable with and another he dreaded. The call yesterday to Eli David had been relatively easy. Explaining to Gibbs why he wanted to use MTAC to make what amounted to a 'long distance personal call' to Israel was what he had truly dreaded.**

**1 Day Earlier**

**"Calling Eli David, DiNozzo?"**  
**Tony had been brought up short yet again by the depth of his bosses insight.**  
**"Umm, yes boss. I was thinking of asking permission to date his daughter."**  
**"Permission denied."**  
**"But...OW!" There was the slap to the back of the head.**  
**"Rule #12. And rule #18. You don't ask him...you TELL him. Hell, Ziva's been making her own decisions since she was 10, so why bother asking for something he probably won't give?"**  
**"I think it's the right thing to do. Wait, you just said..."**  
**"I told you not to end up like me. You and Ziva have gone through a courtship that dating couldn't BEGIN to touch. There's only one way around rule 12."**  
**"I know," Tony had said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out the ring with a smug look on his face. Gibbs, just continued to look at Tony without any change in his facial expression until the smug expression evaporated.**  
**"You knew."**  
**"Yep."**  
**"So, the head-slap was for..."**  
**"Wasting my time. Now get up there before Vance changes his mind."**  
**"Thanks..." Tony did a double-take.**  
**"Wait, how does Vance know...". Gibbs continued to look at him, with just a ghost a smile twitching the corners of his mouth. "You told him."**  
**"Yep."**  
**"When?"**  
**"A week ago."**  
**"Does anyone else know what I'm doing before I barely know?"**  
**"...oni,tony,Tony,TONY!" Gibbs stepped back as a white streak with dark hair launched itself at Tony with a squeal of glee, knocking him to the floor where she landed on his chest. "Bad Tony! Telling Gibbs and Vance before telling me!"**  
**"Abbey, I didn't tell them anything."**  
**"Oh, then I'll let you live. And THAT is the new take-down technique I learned from Ziva."**  
**"Huh?"**  
**"Hi Ziva!"**  
**"Good morning, Abbey. Tony, what are you doing on the floor?"**  
**"Umm, tripped...over Abbey. Gotta go, bye!" He quickly retreated up the stairs for the safety of MTAC before he lost his nerve...or body parts. After all that, Eli David should be a piece of cake. All he could say is 'no'.**  
**"No."**  
**"But..."**  
**"Why are you asking me? Ziva has been making her own decisions since she was ten."**  
**"I wasn't asking you. I'm telling you as a courtesy."**  
**"And what about rule #12?"**  
**"I'm not asking for...I mean I'm not telling you I want to date your daughter. I'm telling you I want to ask her to marry..." Tony ground to a halt as what Director David had said sunk in and at the glint of amusement evident through MTACS high-def main monitor.**  
**"You knew."**  
**"Yep."**  
**"How?"**  
**"I am Director of Israeli Intelligence."**  
**"Gibbs and Vance told you."**  
**"Yep."**  
**"So, I can..."**  
**"If she says yes, you have my blessing as well. I am sure her mother would also have approved."**  
**"Thank you, sir. I've taken enough of your time."**  
**"Ask her to call me."**  
**"I will." The screen went to a colored holding pattern as Tony gave the 'cut signal' jester across his throat. He could hear one of the on-duty operations officers trying, unsuccessfully, to stifle a fit of giggles.**  
**"Hardy, har, har. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Vance, David, and Gibbs...the next 3 Stooges." He said quietly to himself. He stepped forward quickly and did a 180 as Gibbs and Vances hands shot through empty air. "Gotcha!"**  
**"DiNozzo!" Tony twisted back around to find himself face to 'face' with Director David on the Big Screen and promptly went over in a tangle of feet as he tried to back away. He couldn't be sure, but as the screen went blank again, he thought he heard Eli go "Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk."**

**30 Minutes Earlier**

**Okay, maybe he'd just been hallucinating about that last part. He was running out of time. He finished the note again, put it in the envelope, and re-placed it in the flowers, narrowly avoiding shoving it down into the water. Then he road the elevator down to the garage and made his way to the car. Checking his watch again, he found he had plenty of time to hit the store for a bottle of champagne while he called Ziva. As he left the store and reached his car, he noticed the flat tire. He looked at his watch again. He'd wouldn't make it back in time after changing the flat and a tow-truck service call would take even longer.**  
**"Fan-freakin-tastic."**

**_Phfft_(Picture goes gray)**


	3. 15 Minutes Too Late

**15 Minutes Too Late**

**Tony decides to skip the elevator and head right for the stairs. With a little help from one of the store's employees, he changed out the flat tire for the spare and had made it back to NCIS headquarters only 15 minutes after his planned time. Maybe she had been delayed and was still reading. Nope, according to the security log, she had been right on time...as usual. As he reaches the bullpen's floor, he slows down to catch his breath and takes the corner toward their desks. Ziva isn't there. There's the vase with the bouquet and the note is sitting near it, opened and, he presumes, having been read. Where's Ziva? He checks both restrooms – knocking politely on the Ladies Room door – no Ziva.**  
**"This is damn peculiar."**  
**He heads back down and rechecks the security log...there it was. He'd missed it the first time. Ziva had already left again, almost 15 minutes earlier. He felt a cold knot forming in his stomach. Maybe he hadn't read things right. Maybe she had left because she didn't want to face Tony after reading that letter. She had not waited very long – only about 10 minutes had passed between her arriving and leaving again. Maybe he should head over to Gibbs to see if she decided to go there since he didn't show up. Wait, did she take the camera? Heading back up, he finds the camera right where he'd left it. Okay, time to put his finely honed detective skills to work to find out where she was. He pulls out his cell and dials her cell. It rings twice and she picks up.**  
**"Hello?"**  
**"Ziva?"**  
**"Oh, hello Tony."**  
**"Hi, are you on your way to Gibbs'?"**  
**"No."**  
**"Is everything okay?"**  
**"I am fine, Tony."**  
**"Where are you?"**  
**"I was feeling below the weather and decided to go back home."**  
**"'Under'."**  
**"What is under?"**  
**"Under the...never mind. I'll call Gibbs to let him know we won't be over and I'll come right over."**  
**"Please do not do that, Tony. I will be fine. I will see you back at work on Wednesday."**  
**Wednesday!? Crap! She doesn't even want me to come over Christmas Day. I screwed up royally.**  
**"All right, Ziva. I'll let Gibbs know when I see him."**  
**"Thank you, Tony. Good bye."**  
**Waves of emotions roll over him and through him as he slams his cell phone down on his desk so hard, the display screen shatters.**

**_Phfft_(Picture goes gray)**


	4. Fall Out

**His gaze falls on the flowers and the note. Numbly he picks up the note and notices the spots where it had gotten wet. He was sure he hadn't gotten any water on it. Sure enough, the residue was salty. They were tears. Ziva's tears. His note had made her cry, because she now knew he was in love with her and she was not in love with him.**  
**"Oh, Ziva...how could I have been so stupid?"**  
**Tony goes back to his desk and pulls a bottle of scotch-whiskey with a whiskey glass from a bottom drawer – one he kept there for special occasions, like this one. He pours a shot and downs it in one gulp. An hour later the bottle is empty. He is beginning to wonder how that had happened when his cell rings. It still worked apparently. He tries to see who the caller is but gives up and hits the receiver button.**  
**"You have reached the voice-mail of very special agent Anthony DiNozzo. Please leave a message after the beep...beep."**  
**"DiNozzo!" It was Gibbs.**  
**"Oh, hey boss."**  
**"What's keeping you and what's wrong with your phone? You sound all tinny and there's a lot of static."**  
**"Sorry, boss. Ziva isn't here."**  
**"What about Ziva?"**  
**"She was feeling flat and the weather made her go home."**  
**There was a long pause. "Tony? Have you been drinking?"**  
**"No flies on you."**  
**"What?"**  
**"Yes, I have been drinking and when I am done drinking I will drink some more. Scotch is gone but bottle of Dom in the car."**  
**"Where are you, DiNozzo?"**  
**"I'm right here...in my chair...drinking. I think I broke it."**  
**"Tony, are you hurt?"**  
**"Yes, that is why I am drinking. I am hurt."**  
**"Okay, Tony. Try to make some sense. Can you walk?"**  
**Tony get's up and takes a step and promptly falls to the floor. "Nope. Can't walk."**  
**"Okay, so is your leg broken?"**  
**"Nope. And neither is my other leg. Gravity is also not broken. Just my heart...and my phone, but I guess the phone isn't really broken because you called and it rang but I can't see who you are because the screen is broken...so,...who are you?"**  
**"DINOZZO!"**  
**"Well isn't THAT a conin...coninc...conis...ME TOO."**  
**"[McGee, run a trace on Tony's cell...yes, I'm serious...NOW!] All right, stay right where you are. Don't move or hang up. You got that?"**  
**"Dad?"**  
**"No, Tony, it's Gibbs."**  
**"Oh, hey Boss...are you at the office, too? The carpet smells funky.""**  
**"[Never mind, McGee. He's at the office. Abbey, go to Ziva's place and see how she is. ] Okay, Tony, stay there. I'll be there shortly. Tony?"**  
**"Yes boss. Not moving."**

**_Phfft_(Picture goes gray)**


	5. Gibbs Arrives

**Gibbs walks into the Bullpen to find Tony still laying on the floor.**  
**"Get up, DiNozzo."**  
**"Thank you, Boss"**  
**After he rolls over and sits up, Tony manages to stand up shakily and make it back over to his chair. After which, Gibbs plants a large cup of coffee in front of him.**  
**"Drink."**  
**Tony smiles weakly and, picking up the coffee, takes a sip. After giving the caffeine a few minutes to work, Gibbs pulls his chair over in front of Tony and sits down.**  
**"Now, tell me what the hell happened. I thought you had some plan to propose to Ziva."**  
**"I did. Everything was perfect. I got the flowers, wrote a letter to her explaining how I feel, and arranged for her to find it here on the pretense of me asking her to pick up my camera."**  
**"So, what happened? Did she say, 'No.?"**  
**"She didn't say anything. She left before I got back here."  
Gibbs looks over toward the flowers and note.**  
**"So, she came here, read the note, and left so quickly you couldn't stop her?"**  
**"I went to the store to buy a bottle of champagne...thought I had plenty of time...but I came out of the store to discover I had a flat. So, I got back here 15 minutes after I was supposed to. And, I think she cried, because the note had gotten wet and there was a saline residue. Bottom line is: I blew it."**  
**Gibbs could see Tony was barely holding it together, his eyes red and tearing.**  
**"You said she went home because she didn't feel well. So, you spoke to her."**  
**"I called her shortly after I got back and didn't find her here."**  
**"So, did she say anything else?"**  
**"She told me not to come over and that she would see me at work on Wednesday."**  
**Gibbs looks thoughtful, then stands up.**  
**"You're right...you blew it."**  
**Tony blinks, then shoots up from the chair.**  
**"What the hell is that supposed to mean!? I went through hell when I thought she was dead and now she's putting me through hell again and you tell me I blew it?!"**  
**Gibbs was up, too - close enough to Tony's face that he could smell the faint odor of scotch mixed with coffee.**  
**"I mean you blew it when you didn't ignore her request and go right after her. You want her that bad, you shouldn't be letting your imagination run the show. Get answers. If she says no to your face, then you can go crawl into a bottle of scotch, if that's what you want to do. Or you can pick yourself back up by the boot straps and move on. The choice is yours."**  
**"That's easy for you to..."**  
**Gibbs and Tony's cells chime nearly simultaneously. Tony can't read who the message is from, much less the message, due to the shattered screen. Gibbs pulls his phone and opens it. A look of concern crosses his face as he looks up at DiNozzo, quickly replaced by his normal stoic no-nonsense expression.**  
**"Grab your gear and get to the van!"**  
**"Boss?"**  
**Gibbs doesn't answer. He shoves the phone into Tony's hand and turns quickly toward the elevator. Tony looks down at the message – it's from Abby. As he reads it, his face turns white and he's suddenly sprinting for the elevator.**

**The message reads: Gibbs, Tony bring the van to Ziva's apartment, NOW!**

**_Phfft_****(Picture goes gray)**


	6. Questions and Answers

**In the van, Gibbs dials Abbys cell as he's pulling out, Tony on the passenger side, "Talk to me Abbs."**  
**"Ziva's gone!"**  
**"What do you mean 'gone'?"**  
**" I came to her apartment and knocked. She didn't answer. So I called and could her cell ringing through the door, but still no answer. When I knocked loud and shouted her name a neighbor came out and told me she was gone. I asked if she knew where. She said 'no', but I might get a forwarding address from NCIS where she worked."**  
**""Forwarding address'? Like she moved?"**  
**"That's what she said. I went to apartment manager and asked. He knew nothing about it. Rent is all paid up. He let me in with his key. Gibbs, the place was EMPTY, except for her cell and her NCIS badge. The place was scrubbed clean, too. I could smell the chemicals. It looks as if no one had ever lived there."**  
**"Okay Abbs. We'll be there shortly. See if you can get any more information from that neighbor."**  
**"Gibbs, there is no WAY Zina moved without telling us. And she wouldn't leave her badge and cell like that if she was doing it willingly."**  
**"I agree, but we still need more information."**  
**"I'm on it." **  
**After she disconnects, Gibbs fills Tony in on Abbys discoveries.**  
**"No...no way. She was supposed to be on her way to your place after picking my camera. She couldn't possibly pack up her entire apartment and move out like that in less that 2 hours. She'd have had to have it planned ahead of time...and I think we would've seen some sign that this was coming if she had."**  
**"Well, we apparently missed something, unless Abby is hallucinating." **  
**"Something doesn't feel right about any of this. It doesn't make sense. There's something else...I can't put my finger on it. I'm going to need a couple aspirin and more coffee."**  
**Gibbs reaches for a cup in the cup holder and passes it to DiNozzo. "Aspirin's in the glove box."**

**They reach Ziva's place and meet Abby in front of her door. "GibbsGibbsGibbs." And, suddenly, her arms are wrapped around him like a brunette python. After a moment she pulls away, and seeing Tony's worried expression, moves over and hugs him, too. **  
**"Did you find out anything more?"**  
**"I didn't go back in...didn't want to contaminate the scene any more that I already. The neighbor went was able to tell me more, but it's still confusing. She says a bunch of men came and packed up her apartment over an hour before I got here. She said she asked what they were doing in Ziva's apartment and the told her they were helping her move. She was suspicious of that and was going to try contacting the apartment manager or Ziva, when she shows up with another guy. She tells the neighbor everything is okay and she didn't seem to be in any sort of duress."**  
**"Is that it?"**  
**"No. The last thing she says is what's really interesting. She tells me the fellows helping her turned out to be a bunch of nice Jewish boys because she was speaking to them in Hebrew."**  
**"Hebrew?!" Tony and Gibbs say in unison. Then look at each other, "Mossad!"**

**_Phfft_****(Picture goes gray)**


	7. Ziva

**Ziva stares into the barrel and counts to ten to herself. When she is still alive ten seconds later, she relaxes slightly...but only just.  
"You have lost your edge living with these people. You are fortunate I am not here to kill you."**  
**"Why then are you here, Hadar?" She now looks into his eyes, trying to feel for a weakness. A break for her to disarm him and take him down.**  
**"Your time here is over. Your father has determined it is time for you to return to Israel...to Mossad...to your family."**  
**"My family is here now. I am no longer a Mossad officer. He cannot give me orders as my superior nor as my father."** **Her father, why...?**  
**"You are wrong, Ziva." Hadar says something in Hebrew. Ziva suddenly stiffens, aware now of what he is doing.**  
**"No..."**  
**But it is already too late. Her conditioning kicks in and she no longer has any say as to what she wants. The conditioning is meant to protect her from being broken if captured, as she was by Saleem Ulman. Now, it is used against her by the man who gave her that defense.** **Little do they realize how much better it would have been if she had been allowed to break and die, rather than endure 3 months of hell at the hands of Ulman.**  
**"You father is waiting for you at your apartment. Go back and assure anyone seeing you that the men there are following your instructions. If anyone calls you, tell them you are sick and you will see them your next working day. Do you understand?"**  
**"I understand." Inside, though, Ziva was seething. How dare he do this to her. She is an NCIS special agent and American citizen, now. This is kidnapping and assault of the worst kind, yet she is powerless to stop him. Her cell rings as she is on her way back to her apartment.**  
**"Hello?"**  
**"Ziva?"**  
**"Oh, hello Tony." _Oh, god...Tony._**  
**"Hi, are you on your way to Gibbs'?"**  
**"No." _No. please don't do this to me...to him!_**  
**"Is everything okay?"**  
**"I am fine, Tony." _ I am NOT fine. Please..._**  
**"Where are you?"**  
**"I was feeling below the weather and decided to go back home." _Damn it!_**  
**"'Under'."**  
**"What is under?" _If...no..._**  
**"Under the...never mind. I'll call Gibbs to let him know we won't be over and I'll come right over."**  
**"Please do not do that, Tony." _...when I get out of this..._**  
**"I will be fine." ._..Hader..._**  
**"I will see you back at work on Wednesday." _...I will kill you..._**  
**"All right, Ziva. I'll let Gibbs know when I see him."**  
**"Thank you, Tony. Good bye." _...if Tony does not do so first._**  
**As she presses the disconnect button, a single tear traces it's way down her cheek. With a puzzled expression, she wipes it away with the back of her hand and stares at the wetness it leaves there for a second. She doesn't understand. She hasn't been tortured. With her conditioning no amount of torture should be able to elicit such a physical reaction from her. She will need to discuss this weakness with officer Hadar.**

**_Phfft_****(Picture goes gray)**


End file.
